If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
