You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
You made out with two different species that night
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Randomize
