i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
