so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
