Christians are straight up FREAKS
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
