SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
a search helicopter?!
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
