i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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