tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
