we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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