That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
