My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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