it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
This is my gift to your gina
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
