he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
