I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
