Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
