My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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