we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
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