What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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