Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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