He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
