They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
