I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
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