Please, let me fuck your mom
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
