it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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