p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
