Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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