Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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