Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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