we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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