and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
MIDGETS
????
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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