I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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