So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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