I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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