Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize