hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
