so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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