i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
