It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
