I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
It's Friday. Sex?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
