operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
