I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I can feel your judgement through the phone
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
