just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize