She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
