Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
