I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
