Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
