when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
is that a dick in a sweater?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
