So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
