so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize