She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize