let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
