Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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