Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
