so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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