My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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