MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
