do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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